shredded

another day, and another two pages. rock the solids. i don't know what rock the solids mean, but the torontoist would suggest it's something scatological. i'll let the web-wide-world decide that one, i guess.

i spent the last two days shredding extraneous matter. that's a lie. no extraneous matter was shredded. i simply wanted to say "extraneous." i'm not even sure how "extraneous matter" fits within a shredding metaphor. "extraneous" is one of those words that sounds like it should really be two. Like some wordsmith developed a linguistical-nuclear-fission between "extra" and "simultaneous" or "spontaneous", with the lost letters served up as a lexical fallout upon the pages. wondrous.

anyway, i spend the last two days shredding extraneous matter. it consisted mostly of three-plus years of bills that the pineapples' grandmom ought to have destroyed long ago but instead retained because they are in her son's name. it became my duty to erase from the world, like an Enron accountant, any trace of my in-laws' financial existence since 2005. i began with some gusto, making cute little origami ducks and airplanes before sending the leafs of paper to certain doom. but within the space of an hour i grew annoyed with the entire process and had to move toward an efficient separation and organization of matter to be shredded and matter to be simply disposed of. i was both god and monster to the paper, all made with at least 30% post-consumer fibre. not one piece was spared from the malice of my will, my deeds, and the machine that facilitates the doom. there are now two LARGE bluebags full of minced paper in the recycling bin awaiting to find bliss, or at least a subtle peace, after My destruction of their race.